Dear kids, I tried my best to protect you from chemicals and Big Pharma, but I'm just too tired! Apologies if you start to glow! Love, Mama

You know, with the first kid, it was all perfect. Cautious research of organic baby food and skin care products. I washed clothes in environmentally friendly soap and all our plastic was BPA free.

Then, I got exhausted and lollipops and muffins from Dunkin Donuts crept in. The next thing I knew, he would only eat waffles and whipped cream. Oh well, I still slathered on the Earth conscious and wallet slaughtering sunscreen, counts for something, right?

Kiddo number two, I think that he was pure for about 9 months and then goldfish became his breakfast of Champions. The shampoo is organic and the fruit, but I think that eating grapes off a chemically cleaned floor reduces the perfect mommy points significantly.

Now, I just throw up my hands with regards to most things and it's an organic / poison crap shoot. You'll get sunscreen everyday and your DHA gummies, but I think we have to compromise on the Popsicles and the chicken nuggets. Mama is now 5 years tired and that's a lot of research and smart choices!

Let's make a deal : when everyone is wiping their own butts, I'll pick up my vigilance. In the meantime, let's hope we are evolutionary survivors. We do have that "hearty New England stock" in us. Just be grateful you're not milking cows and splitting rails and we'll turn a blind eye on what's in the juice boxes.

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