Some days, you couldn't pay someone enough to be a SAHM.

Kid wants to go to the playground.
Feed both kids snacks.
Pack diaper bag.
Pack water and hats for everyone.
Does anyone have to go to the bathroom?
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
IF YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PLAYGROUND GET IN THE CAR!!
Drive to next town.
Argue with small person in the back seat about which playground you're going to.
Get everyone out of the car.
Where's your hat?!
Strap baby to chest and give yourself a hernia carrying diaper bag and large plastic toy.
Walk into the gate.
Kid rides on bouncy dolphin for 30 seconds.
Mama! I have to go to the bathroom!
Ask neighbor to watch baby and shudder as you walk kid to chemical toilet.
Kid is rightfully horrified by chemical toilet and is afraid of falling in.
Just stand there and pee and don't touch anything.
DO YOU HAVE TO POOP?!
Grab baby and apologize to neighbor for the 5 minutes of clenched teeth swearing and parental meltdown you just proudly performed for strangers.
Pack every mother-loving thing back in car and drive home.
Unbuckle kid and send him into the bathroom while you haul the sleeping baby and all the gear into the house where you find....

KID PLAYING WITH THE FRICKIN CAT!

DIDN'T YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?

I changed my mind.

Go play in your room.

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