Baby’s First Photo Shoot

Today we took Liam to have his picture taken at a studio in Northborough.  I was so stressed out about getting us all there, looking presentable and having a full bag of tricks – diapers, wipes, blankie, etc. – that I didn’t think too much about what the session would entail.

My first clue that the day would be an adventure was when the photographer asked me to put him in a cloth diaper before coming to her studio.  She said that the disposable ones would leave marks and as he was going to be nude it would show in the pictures.  Sure!  No problem!  Well, I’d never put a cloth diaper on a baby and I was a wreck between the pins and the idea that he was going to leak on everything.  He’s quite the prolific pooper!

One minute into our session and he pooped.  So I changed him.  He pooped on that diaper too!  Let’s leave him naked, she suggested.  Doubting that my son was done crapping on things, I nervously undressed him.  Sure enough – poop on the fury blanket.  And then pee on the other fury blanket.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that he pooped and peed on two more blankets and then spit up. 

Liam became so furious when asked to wear a hat in one picture that I had to nurse him to quiet him down.  The photographer – bless her, she clearly has no children of her own – suggested that I “try to get him to fall asleep.”  If I knew how to do that, lady, I wouldn’t be so exhausted! 

Take two: Baby Liam is naked once more and Mom is holding him under his little bum as Dad snuggles in for a family shot.  Remember, his tank is now full.  EXPLOSION!!!  Yup, Liam pooped in Mom’s hand.  TWICE!  Laughing hysterically, the photographer snapped away as she assured me that she could edit the photos.  Edit out poop all over my hands, shirt and jeans?  This lady must be good.  But we had no time to marvel at her Photoshop skills as Liam arched a stream of pee across the room. 

I swear I couldn’t make this up.  This link to the photos should be available later this week.